Proving once again that 80s television lied to me, in today’s post I’m asking why well-dressed, well-groomed and well-spoken guys rarely attract women.  When I was a child in the 1980s, all you needed to attract women, according to primetime television, was a nice suit and a haircut.  Whether you were a British con artist posing as a west coast private detective or a pretty-boy soldier of fortune living with friends among the Los Angeles underground, if you were well-dressed and clean-cut, you had dates — lots of dates.

So, break out the double-breasted suits, silk ties and Italian loafers!  Not so fast.  My experience as a single man was quite different.  Never, and I mean never, did I lose a girlfriend to someone who was better dressed, had a better vocabulary or a higher earning potential.  I have lost girlfriends to foul-mouthed Neanderthals with little career motivation, short tempers and a wardrobe consisting of blue jeans, football jerseys and sneakers.

For years, I kept making the same mistake, not comprehending what I was doing incorrectly.  In the 80s, I was programmed to think that ladies wanted a worldly gentleman with class and style.  Turns out that wasn’t true.  Apparently, a 1936 boat tail speedster isn’t really the female attention grabber I was led to believe it was.  I never owned a white American sports car with a large red stripe down both sides and across the front and back, but I’m guessing that wouldn’t have really worked, either.

The bottom line is this: even if you have the money of an 80’s TV leading man, you still need to look like rabble.  Think about it.  You can drive the $400,000 Aventador, but make sure you’re wearing torn jeans and dirty sneakers when you get out of it.  People today, including potential dates, generally seem to accept the wealth of ultra-casual athletes and musicians, but not that of impeccably-tailored bankers and stock brokers.

The reality of the new millennium is no matter how financially secure you are, as long as you look like a drifter, you’ll be popular.  Go figure!