How does someone who grew up in the 80s ever feel satisfied today?  We spent a decade being bombarded with the lifestyles of excessive consumption portrayed on television and in the movies, and now as middle-aged adults, we’re trying to achieve those teenage dreams that were imbedded into our developing minds.  In today’s post, I’m going to discuss the stress we 80s children feel when choosing a new car.  First off, too many people have SUV’s.  When I was younger, there was no choice.  You had a Grand Wagoneer with four-wheel drive and wood panels; however, unless you’ve recently adopted a baby and are moving to Vermont to begin dating a veterinarian, SUV’s are out.

How do you choose a new car with understated luxury and some class?  There was always the stately British motorcar with the unmistakable grille and lady hood ornament.  The choice of millionaire drunk playboys from New York who had funny accents and an attraction to female shoplifters.  But where are the blue blazer, ascot-wearing guys who owned these?  Drivers of these cars today are usually younger men wearing a t-shirt and a sideways baseball cap.  Besides, once I see it in a music video or on a reality TV show, I simply don’t want it anymore.

Then there was the quintessential 80s luxury car from Germany.  Whether you were a mystery-solving self-made millionaire from Los Angeles or the younger brother of a Dallas oil tycoon, this convertible was the car for you.  It was my childhood dream car.  In 1985, this manufacturer sold 86,000 cars in the U.S.  In 2015, they sold 343,000 vehicles in the U.S., losing the exclusivity while maintaining the hefty price tag.  That’s out.

How about a red Italian supercar?  In the 1980s, you could live on an elegant beachfront estate in one of the most expensive states in the U.S., wear a Rolex and drive one of these — with no steady employment and no expenses.  In our real world of today, that’s out, too! 

You need something that you can comfortably take to the yacht club and leave at the train station for the day.  Since the acceptance of flaunting wealth has taken a 180 degree turn in the last 30 years, I suggest something like an Acura.  Although that brand barely existed in the 80s, it’s nice enough not to receive sneers from parking lot attendants and under the radar enough that no one will throw rocks at you 1%ers.  Welcome to our future!